Aligned Leadership

by Derrick Kunsman

Some lessons in leadership come from podcasts, conferences, and books. Others… come from standing in my kitchen, staring at a sink full of dishes. I’ve realized that the way I load the dishwasher says a lot about how I lead, and about the comfort zones I still cling to.

There’s a running joke in my house: No one loads the dishwasher like I do.

It’s true; I’ve perfected my system. Bowls nested just so. Plates lined up in military precision. Cups facing the same way, ready for the clean water to work its magic. When I’m finished, there’s a sense of accomplishment. A job well done. A clear start and finish.

And, honestly? I like it. I’m comfortable there. I know exactly what to do, and I do it well.

But lately, I’ve been trying to be ok with watching the dishes stack up in the sink… not because I’m neglecting them, but because I’ve been forcing myself to focus on other things at home, things that only I can do. 

It has made me think about the “dishwasher moments” I have at work.

In school leadership, there are certain tasks that I gravitate toward – not because I have to be the one doing them, but because they’re familiar. Comfortable. Predictable. And, if I’m being honest, they give me that same satisfaction as loading the dishwasher: a quick, tangible win in a world of long-term challenges.

The problem? Every time I’m elbows-deep in my metaphorical work “dishwasher,” I’m not doing the things only I can do as a leader: casting vision, making strategic decisions, building relationships, and guiding my team toward our Mega Result.

Choosing the dishwasher is easy. Choosing growth takes discipline.

Because leadership isn’t about proving I can do everything better than anyone else. It’s about creating the space and trust for others to contribute their best work, while I focus on the things only I can do.

And I’ll be honest: I’m still learning this. I like my “dishwasher moments.” They feel safe, clear, and satisfying. But I’m realizing that when I catch myself stuck in them, it’s a signal to take a step back, delegate, and lean into the work that stretches me.

That’s where my real growth, and my real alignment, happens.